I know from my personal experience that women need women in their lives; the right type of women that mirror their lifestyle and values. Joining different groups, I believe, affords women these opportunities.
You know women over the age of 50+ have time to enjoy and benefit from having other women in their lives. Women after 50 are empty nesters, retired, and for the first time in years feeling liberated from commitments. You no longer have the school setting to forge friendships. Several of you have moved to a new city or new neighborhood. If you let it happen this could become a lonely time in your life when it should become a time to thrive and continue your bloom.
You have before you the perfect setting. This is when you have the time to begin luxuriating in what makes your hearts sing. I believe relationships with other women can help you do just that. How? Groups.
But first a little tidbit from Honey.
Two women strangers are seated next to one another on a flight from LA to Miami. By the time the flight lands, they know how many children each has. They know how many times they have been married, they understand the purpose for their respective trips to Miami. They’ve shared the best brand bra to buy for women with large busts, and even each other’s personal problems! Two strangers in four hours become intimate friends!
It is a fact that women engage in conversation with like-minded women. Women share. Women love dialogue. At our core, we women are nurturers and love to help and advise! Women love chatter and gossip. There is not a woman alive that does not love to gather information! Right?
WOMEN NEED WOMEN
In my experience, women are, by nature, busybodies and it is all good. And, after the age of 50+ with more time on her hands, a woman has been set free to make relationships with her fellow sisters.
My private Facebook group, GRANDwomen with Moxie…Where Loneliness Disappears, is proof that groups work. Women engage with one another — big time.
Therefore, I know from experience that small private groups of women work, which proves my point that women need women.
I ran my own little group of 10 women for four years. And, I am humbled to say the New York Times ran an article in its Sunday Edition of another one of my groups. This was a multigenerational group of women from the age of 28 to 96 years old. After two hours of non-stop talking they did not want our meet-up to end!
MY FIRST GROUP
Perhaps you’ve read my post on embracing serendipity? This was just such an occasion. The first time I led a group happened by chance when I met a young advertising executive. He asked me to form a group. He wanted to understand the psychology of a woman over 50+ for advertising purposes.
A SHORT DESCRIPTION OF THE WOMEN
I chose friends who were married or had a significant other, they were moms and grandmas. Many had careers, they were educated, they had taken up activities from travel to sports, to book clubs to classes, etc.
They were from several different cities. These women were not at home sitting on their laurels. They felt ‘invisible’ due to their age. These women had joy and freedom but also problems and issues. I could feel their gladness in accepting my invitation because they all left my home with smiles and still yaketing. It was all good.
I thought about the group meeting with the young advertiser on and off for two weeks because of the word, invisible. These lovely friends of mine all felt, in different degrees, invisible. I wanted to know why because it made me feel sad. That word and the word lonely were the driving force behind my desire to start groups.
I stopped thinking and started doing. I felt empowered. So I phoned my friend, Jane, who has a degree in Family Psychology. She had participated in the first group meet-up. I wanted her opinion. She liked the idea, so…
I made phone calls, pooling from different groups of friends, explaining the platform. I imagined some of the women would turn me down … not one woman said no. They were over-the-top thrilled saying, “I would love to be part of a group. This is what I want in my life. I feel invisible and sometimes lonely, too.”
And, so our group was born, ten strong, that lasted for four years. When I left California and Covid reared its ugly head and Elsewhere was born, the group dissolved.
MY TIME WITH THE GROUP
I was honored to lead the group. I am aware that small women’s groups that discuss our feelings and the passages we enter after 50+ are significant. To have an open discussion about our personal lives — our ideas and challenges — was so enlightening and empowering. We luxuriated in it because it was like a breath of fresh air.
For two hours we met at my home at 9:30 am, on the first Wednesday of each month. We were 10 in number. Each week we sat around my dining room table. I served muffins, coffee, tea, dates, and figs, etc. Jane and I led the group. It was informal and we had topics. We had one rule. Our conversations would be kept private within the four walls of my home.
Because my group met with such success, I was honored to be interviewed by the New York Times. Because of this serendipitous happening, I started my private Facebook group, and now that I am living full time in Chicago, I will hopefully start a group in my home soon. As of yet, I have not had the time.
I now understand and realize how important it is to share feelings with other women. To participate in discussions about family, friendships, love, and loss. About individual style, visibility versus feeling invisible as women over 50. Our challenges, goals, and dreams.
As expressed, I am proud of myself for taking the initiative of starting women’s groups. Though I lacked experience, I felt empowered to take the bull by the horns and try. I am delighted to say, each experience has been enlightening. You can start with joining a group in your vicinity, or my online groups, GRANDwomen with Moxie and Honeygood.com. Why not feel enlightened and join 3?! I am smiling.
Would you agree that women need women? Let’s start a discussion in the comments. I love hearing from you!
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